Since no magazine will publish this story of mine, I thought I’d just publish it myself here, in little bits.
Laura found a baby on the street and her mom’s letting her keep it. It’s not fair because Laura gets everything she wants and I’ve wanted a baby for a lot longer than she has. That’s why I told her she should let me keep it, but she said, no. Finder’s keepers, or some such. I told her fine, she could keep the baby, but I get to name her. Laura said I could name my own baby. I don’t have my own baby, which is the exact problem I’m discussing right now.
Laura’s mom said, here’s how it works. She said, babies have mothers and fathers. That’s why her mother made the condition. The condition was that Laura could keep the baby, but only if she chose a boy to be the father. A father Laura’s mother approved. Laura doesn’t even like boys and that’s why I said to pick me, but her mom said, no. Her mom said I’m not a boy and fathers are boys. Laura told her, she said, but I don’t like boys, I like Sarah. Her mom said no. Her mom said Laura wasn’t old enough to know whether she liked boys or if she liked girls and if, when she grew up and decided she liked girls, then that would be a conversation they could have then, but for now, Laura’s mom told her, she liked boys and she needed to pick one and that was the end of the discussion. Because she’s the mom, that’s why.