ABOUT THE BOOK TOUR (of November 2003)
I wanted to go on a book tour. My Publisher wanted me to go on a book tour. The only book tour any of us could afford was a driving book tour. Soft Skull would give me an unlimited gas card and all I had to do was spend one month driving across country. There was one small, tiny little problem: I didn’t know how to drive.
I DECIDE TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.
STEP ONE: Sign up for driving lessons
STEP TWO: Take written Learner’s Permit Test
STEP THREE: Take first driving Lesson from Rey at the Professional Driving School of the Americas.
STEP FOUR: I am not a very good driver.
STEP FIVE: Tried to drive on the highway. Never want to do that again. Scaredy.
STEP SIX: Okay, there is NO way I can drive myself across country in one month. This is preposterous. I might have to bag this whole thing. Have you ever had to drive across a bridge?? It’s the worst. Never, ever, ever want to drive across a bridge again. Or a highway. I’m screwed.
STEP SEVEN: I am holding a contest. If you would like to drive me across country on my book tour, please fill out the APPLICATION below. I am not kidding.
Want to JOIN AMANDA on her book tour? Just complete this TOUR COMPANION QUESTIONNAIRE.
WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED in the beginning of October.
STEP EIGHT: Take road test.
UNFORSEEN STEP: Publishers’ Weekly turns my contest into a story!
STEP NINE: Fail road test. Take again.
ANOTHER UNFORSEEN STEP: 45 people have applied to drive me across country!
STEP TEN: Fail road test. Take again.
THE WINNER of the TOUR COMPANION CONTEST is JENN MCKEE. Jenn hails from Michigan and has written a biography of Jack Kerouac.
Read JENN’S APPLICATION
STEP ELEVEN: PASS ROAD TEST!! GET LICENSE!!
HOW TO SHOWER IN AN AMTRAK TRAIN
THE CEDRIC TO ENGLISH DICTIONARY
BOOKS I DID AND DID NOT BRING WITH ME ON TOUR