I’ve been asked to nominate a young, female writer whose talent is worthy enough to receive, in one go, a check equal to the yearly salary of an administrative assistant. The female I nominate should be in the beginning stages of her writing career. The money is a job buy out. Instead of going to her job as an administrative assistant, she can take a sabbatical and devote herself, uninterrupted and unequivocally, to her own work.

Who should I nominate?

What young, female writer of fiction in the beginning of her career deserves this prize?

Who should I nominate? Who should I nominate? Who should I nominate?

What young, female writer of fiction do I know who is in the beginning of her career? Wait…there’s someone. She’s…wait, I almost have it…it’s so close…she’s short, yeah, super short, and she has a, what is that called – a nose ring? Yeah, that sounds about right. She’s got a nose ring in her right nostril, no — left, left nostril! Yes, definitely left nostril. And she lives in Brooklyn I think, and runs some sort of a weirdo reading group. She’s got curly/wavy hair and for the past 15 years she’s been searching for a Frederick Fekkai pill she can ingest in order to grow “ideal hair.” She doesn’t have a warm winter coat. She lost her favorite hat. She doesn’t know where her gloves are and she has a few notices from collection agencies lying on a nearby table.

Nope, never gonna come to me.

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