I read about your contest/book tour in an e-mail I get from Publisher’s Weekly & have been following your progress. I think I know what you need to do:
When I was in high school I failed 2 road tests. In my opinion, I should have passed (I remember no screw ups). But I think the inspectors were responding to my apparent nervousness (which increased with each failure). I realized I needed to get them to stop paying such close attention to me — I needed to give them a DISTRACTION. So, I bandaged up my face to look like I’d been in a horrendous car accident. It’s easy. Put some white tape over the bridge of your nose, gauze and more white tape on your chin, and don’t forget to draw purple bruising in under your eyes. When the inspector saw me he could barely focus on my driving skills. He was impressed that someone who had just been in a wreck could have the guts to get behind the wheel (“better I drive than let someone else!” I told him). I earned his sympathy, and more importantly, his respect as a driver. I passed and have been driving ever since.
This, or some modification, could work for you.