Last night, I welcomed the French author, Tanguy Viel (phonetic pronunciation: Tohn-gee Viellllll) and spoke French on stage in front of real live French people. Not only that, they were from the French Embassy. Did they laugh? Yes. Did they clap? Eh. But, I am French now and I recognize a look of approval when I see one. Afterwards, I was told by an official and professional French translator, Isabelle Dupuis, that I have a good ear and a good accent. The people at the Embassy nodded in agreement. And that means, as we all well know, that I am now officially French. Without further ado, below please find my official French announcement brought to you courtesy of Babelfish. Below that, please find the French to English conversion, also brought to you courtesy of Babelfish and under that, the original English that I originally typed into Babelfish. Bon! Ca va! Allez!

MY OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH:

Je suis ainsi excité pour annoncer cela en date de la nuit dernière, approximativement au 8:15 P.M., je suis devenu officiellement Français. Vingt membres de l’ambassade de France étaient témoin de la conversion et il y avait des cris de ” ; FÈVE ! ” ; tout autour. Une des meilleures pièces d’être officiellement Français était la découverte, lors d’entrer dans mon cabinet quand je suis arrivé à la maison, que mes vêtements et accessoires des fournisseurs urbains et 21 avaient été remplacée pour toujours par des vêtements et des accessoires de Chanel, de Celine, de Guerlain, de Printemps et d’articles éclectiques du marché aux puces d’Ouen de saint. Mon réfrigérateur a été stocké avec des épiceries de Franprix et champion et mes meubles de hand-me-down avec des antiquités de Chez Gersaint et de Meubles Authentiques. J’irai maintenant mensonge sur mon divan de évanouissement et attendrai mon Monsieur pour appeler.

BABELFISH’S TRANSLATION OF THE FRENCH ANNOUNCEMENT ABOVE INTO ENGLISH:

I am thus excited to announce that in date of last night, roughly with the 8:15 TOKEN ENTRY, I became officially French. Twenty members of l’ embassy of France were pilot conversion and there were cries of ” ; BROAD BEAN! ” ; around. One of the best parts d’ to be officially French was the discovery, at the time d’ to enter my cabinet when I arrived at the house, that my clothing and accessories of the urban suppliers and 21 had been replaced for always by clothing and accessories of Chanel, Celine, of Guerlain, Spring and d’ eclectic articles of the flea market d’ Ouen of saint. My refrigerator was stored with grocers of Franprix and champion and my pieces of furniture of hand-me-down with antiquities from Gersaint and Authentic Pieces of furniture. J’ will go now lie on my couch of fainding and will await my Mister to call.

WHAT I ORIGINALLY TYPED INTO BABELFISH IN ENGLISH TO BE TRANSLATED INTO FRENCH:

I am very excited to announce that at approximately 8:15pm last night, I became officially French. Twenty members of the French Embassy witnessed the conversion and there were shouts of “BON!” all around. One of the best parts of being officially French was the discovery, upon entering my closet, that my clothes and accessories from Urban Outfitters and Forever 21 had been replaced with clothing and accessories from Chanel, Celine, Guerlain and Printemps. My hand me down furniture had been replaced by furniture from Chez Gersaint and Meubles Authentiques and eclectic pieces from the Saint Ouen Flea Market. My refrigerator had been stocked with groceries from Franprix and Champion. I will now go lie on my fainting couch and wait for the Monsieur to call.

Special thanks to the French Culture wing of the French Embassy for approving the conversion!

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