I will not belabor this point, as I’ve never brought it up publicly before, so I say it now, just once, and I will never say it again. The series is Happy Ending, not Happy Endings. It is not plural. There may be multiple happy endings that occur in the course of one event, but the event itself purports to offer just one happy ending. Just one. It is a small thing, but after five years, this one small thing has grown into an enormous pet peeve. So, that’s all — just one ending of happy.

I gave my niece a Beatles record (she’s obsessed with George Harrison) for Jewikwanzahannumas. She’s 8 and she learned, a week earlier, what a record is. So she looked at the record, perplexed and I asked, “Don’t you have a record player?” and she answered, “No.” So I said, “Too bad. I thought you did. Well, you can hang it on your wall. That’s cool, too.” And being the cool kid she is, she said, “Yeah, that’s cool, too.” Then I handed her my next present and after opening it, she stared at the picture on the box, totally confused. “What is this?” Then she scanned the box for words and slowly read aloud, “Record player.” Then we hooked it up and danced around to “Love me Do.”

And to my anonymous commenter, I did not post your long private comment, but I received it. Roger that.

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